Be the author of your life

What’s holding you back from living the way you’d like? 

Are there moments when you feel unsettled, dissatisfied or stuck? Maybe you struggle with recurrent bouts of illness or times when you’re emotionally out-of-kilter. Something in your life is out of alignment with what you want.

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When you look at it closely, you realise you’re more influenced by the forces around you (the ideas, mind-set and the principles of society and culture) than your own internal desires. There are times, though, when something bubbles up—perhaps in the privacy and seclusion of darkness; perhaps during the day when you least expect it—and you access a deeper state of knowing. That wisdom is intuition and it’s a still, small invitation to change.

Sometimes, we brush it off. We don’t take it seriously; we tell ourselves we’re too busy. Or, we can’t face the prospect of change because it’s too terrifying a thing to contemplate.

I’ve been there too: waiting on the edges of the page, hoping that something might just move of its own accord; waiting for a shift in context so I might feel happier, more creative, more fulfilled.

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What would it be like to act on these callings of inner wisdom, these desires that emerge from who-knows-where?

What would it be like to write the narrative of your own life, rather than taking dictation from somebody else? To step into the power of self-authorship?

Let me tell you how I think that the state of being self-authored (in control of your own story; empowered to use your imagination, your skills, your self-expression) has parallels with the creative act of writing

Most authors I know are open to intuition. They sense, rather than know in a rational sense, what will serve their story most powerfully. They possess the discernment to follow this line of enquiry over that one, while at the same time remaining open to experiment, to play. They’re not afraid to be wrong, or write a draft that might not be perfect. They know that the revision process is vital and that there’s always the possibility of change.

Every author writes more than one draft; some write many before the work is ready for the world. They deploy all of the resources around them (knowledge, skill, experience, persistence, imagination, time) to ensure that what needs to be expressed is somehow shaped—sometimes explicitly, sometimes less so—on the page.

Our lives can be like that too. We can make a choice to turn down the volume on the voices of expectation or obligation—the messages that come from our culture—and step into self-authorship. The voices won’t go away but we can choose a different narrative to tune into. We can design our own future.

Authors develop their work by responding to the question: ‘what if?’

Embracing self-authorship, we respond to the same question: ‘what if?’

What if I change the job, the relationship, the home I don’t want?  Who could I become?

Photo by Samuel Rios on Unsplash

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Being self-authored requires a willingness to question what’s around us, the well-worn stories we’ve inherited or absorbed (so much so that we’re not even aware of them). Instead, we develop our capacity to be curious: to listen for insight, to follow that intuitive spark or moment of truth.

It asks us to find the courage to express ourselves, despite fear of judgement. Living from a place of self-authorship, we see links between apparently unrelated things that others might not—new ways of telling stories in meaningful ways. We join the dots; we forge connections; we feel powerfully alive and empowered to speak, act, be bold, make a difference and get every ounce of pleasure and satisfaction from this time on earth.

I invite you to sit and reflect on what in your life you’d like to change.

Can you listen to the voice of intuition that comes in the darkness? How might you call on your resources of curiosity and courage to empower the expression of your desire? Are you willing to let go of the expectation that the change absolutely must be the ‘right’ one—the perfect one, the one that will solve all your problems—and instead see it as a process, a draft to refine over time. What resources (people or things) do you need to support you?

The best stories emerge from a deep place of intuitive knowing. The authors who write them know that authorship takes not just persistence and skill (which can be practised or learned) but courage and curiosity (which need to be harnessed).

Above all, they know that the risk of not writing their stories—of staying muted, contracted or disempowered—far outweighs the risk of vulnerability it takes to express themselves on the page.

What’s holding you back from being the author of your life?